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Spy Kids: Armageddon (2023)

Spy Kids: Armageddon (2023)

4.5

Shallow kids' entertainment that fulfills the bare minimum of having a coherent plot

Movie

United States of America
English
Action, Action & Adventure, Adventure, Comedy
2023

TLDR

All you need to know is there is a gadget in this movie that's set to "Cute Overload" that I think makes the bad guys significantly more frightening.

What it's about

After accidentally giving a megalomaniacal game developer access to a powerful hacking software, the children of two spies are tasked with saving their parents and the world.

The take

The Spy Kids movies have always been knowingly corny, which hasn't changed for this latest installment—it's just that it also has an odd lack of color and personality to its generic action movie shenanigans. This is especially disappointing given the film's focus on video games, which it only seems to understand in their most surface level terms. And because there's a lack of definition in the movie's rules and logic, the plot progresses without any weight or sense of mounting excitement. These are just people going through the motions toward some unclear message about the value of honesty and kindness, which never really factor into the actual adventure and keep the status quo firmly unchanged.

What stands out

None of this is the child actors' fault. Both Connor Esterson and Everly Carganilla are competent young performers, given the very little they get to work with. They're neither too precocious nor too cutesy, and they work well as anchors to this increasingly nonsensical story. And apart from them, Billy Magnussen plays his cookie cutter villain with a surprising amount of gravitas—dead serious about his belief in fixing a world he believes to be essentially broken. There are moments when Magnussen seems to belong in a different movie altogether, but his character's sneering confidence manages to stand out as one of the few good things here.

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Curated by humans, not algorithms.

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