You should know from the get-go that Cocoa is a wild farce that doesn’t take itself too seriously, and neither should you. The mafia, a wild scientist, and a giant clumsy dog somehow weave themselves into what initially seems to be just a story of two sisters selling pastries and bonding along the way. It goes in for multiple twists and turns, which on paper, sounds like a fun ride, but shoddy production value can only get you so far. After a few chuckles, the poor direction, elementary acting, and stilted editing all catch up on you, and Cocoa soon becomes the kind of movie you have to sit through and endure rather than breeze through. It’s great to put on if you have undiscerning kids around, but otherwise, this TV movie just doesn’t cut it. 

For reasons I won’t spoil, a Louis Vuitton luggage plays an essential role in the movie. Faith and Hope make a great show about how it costs money they don’t have, and after all the fuss, the movie cuts to the cheapest-looking non-LV bag to exist. It doesn’t even have the logos! This is very trivial, but until now, I can’t stop wondering why they couldn’t just loan the real thing, create a replica, or simply not name-drop the brand. I can’t decide whether this is a genius camp move or a stupid one, but either way, it worked—I can’t stop thinking about it.