Aspiring writer-director Vita of My First Film is insufferable. When she starts out making her first feature, she’s pleasantly surprised by the people who came to help her, but the repetition of the shoot, the scene not matching the idea in her head, which she tries to put into image and word, but can’t quite make the vision clear, the anxiety and pressure to be a professional filmmaker blinding her from the concerns of her cast and crew all combine to an inevitable failure of her first feature, which also happens to inspired by Vita’s actual life. Vita is insufferable, but writer-director Zia Anger manages to make her real in an eclectic meta multimedia patchwork that won’t work for everyone, but uniquely depicts an experience filmmakers, aspiring or otherwise, haven’t wanted to talk about.
"Moments that defy representation and that Anger nonetheless put onscreen with an originality and an audacity that are as personal as the events that they bring to life, as revolutionary as the times demand..."
— Richard Brody
""My First Film” is, at its core, a movie not about upheaval but about yearning -- and about how, sometimes, giving that yearning up can be a beautiful, generous act of creation all its own."
— Natalia Winkelman
Vita revisits her first attempt at filmmaking 15 years prior. Shooting a semi-autobiographical film starring her friend Dina, Vita’s eager but inexperienced approach causes the production to spiral into chaos, leading to significant disruptions and a near-fatal accident.
Nearly 15 years later, young filmmaker Vita remembers making her first feature, then fuelled by enthusiasm, but also inexperience, which leads to a chaotic shoot.
The ending. The pure gratitude of still being able to continue making films, of being able to hold the trust and belief of the cast and crew feels palpable, and tying the whole process with the fictionalized, choreographed abortion is a great choice.
Zia Anger, I'm glad you continued making films.
